For many years I thought I knew the meaning of the word “purpose,” until in a therapy session I mentioned “purposes.” Yes, plural. My therapist was surprised and, without explanation, gave me an assignment: write down my Purpose, Values, and Goals.
For days I unconsciously resisted looking for information and responding to the task. Deep down I felt I was mistaken about the definitions I had given those words. Discovering something that would force me to rethink my ideals scared me. It’s striking how, without realizing it, we can convince ourselves of false realities just out of fear of change. The mind tries to remain in the status quo, even if it harms us.
Overcoming the fear of the unknown—or evaluating, accepting, and integrating new truths into our lives—is not easy, especially if self-esteem has not been worked on. Accepting that I could only find the answers I was looking for by raising my awareness was the first step. I couldn’t keep dodging such important questions as: Why do I do what I do, and why do I think what I think?
That Sunday afternoon I sat down to research and discovered the reason for the assignment: there are no “purposes.” There can only be one purpose. It may evolve throughout life, but believing we have several is usually a sign that we still haven’t identified what truly drives us to live.
When I finished the task, I realized what I needed was to define a clear answer. How could I direct my life if I didn’t know my course? And even more importantly: was that course truly mine, or had I adopted it from someone else?
Expanding one’s own “truth” and raising awareness can bring uncomfortable feelings, especially when we finally see realities that had been invisible to us: mistakes we made, things we could have handled better… But did we have the knowledge then that we have now? No. We wouldn’t be who we are if we hadn’t gone through what we went through. All that’s left is to forgive ourselves and live the present to build the future.
Live and love according to your ideals as much as you can. Not everything lasts forever. This comes from someone who repressed emotions for almost an entire life, only to discover that not every feeling is pleasant—but it’s the only way to fully enjoy the fleeting nature of life. Maybe I sound cheesy, but it’s the truth: how could we expect to live in peace without even knowing what drives us to live? Vague definitions in the head are not enough; deep down we know it isn’t sufficient.
Purpose#
Purpose is a broad life direction, a deep motive that gives coherence to your actions, decisions, and long-term efforts. It is not a specific goal or a concrete task, but rather a reason for being that transcends the moment. There is only one purpose.
Why live.
Characteristics#
- It is unique and central, but can be expressed in multiple ways.
- Can there be more than one? Theoretically, no. You may have many interests, goals, or passions, but purpose is usually just one, at least for each stage of life. If it feels like there are several, it usually means we haven’t yet found the core that integrates them.
- It may have branches, but they all point to the same axis.
- It is not “achieved” like a goal on a checklist; it is lived and embodied.
Values#
Values are guiding principles that determine how you want to live and act. They are internal criteria you choose to follow because they deeply resonate with you, not because someone imposes them.
How to live.
Characteristics#
- They are not goals or achievements; they are embodied in everyday life.
- They align with purpose: they are the “how to live” of that “why to live.”
- They help you make decisions that are consistent with yourself.
Goals#
Goals are concrete, achievable, and bounded objectives that help you express your purpose through tangible actions.
Characteristics#
- They are measurable, even if only subjectively.
- They are instrumental, not fundamental.
- They must align with Purpose and Values; otherwise, they create inner conflict.
Personal Definition#
The previous definitions are simply the understanding I reached. They may not be the most exact, but I tried to make them as simple as possible. Without examples it may be hard to grasp, and sharing my personal answers publicly doesn’t feel like a risk—so here they are:
Purpose#
To know and develop myself in order to live with freedom, creativity, and emotional connection, leaving a legacy through art and authentic human relationships.
Values#
- Curiosity: expanding the mind, raising awareness, and understanding oneself requires curiosity—a desire to seek answers. Without it, life becomes monotonous and hopeless.
- Authenticity: living the way I want to live, for myself and not for others. Those who always try to please everyone end up losing themselves.
- Freedom: part of the self-esteem pillar of “living consciously.” Making decisions that resonate with our purpose and values, while always taking responsibility for their consequences.
- Self-Love: recognizing your intrinsic worth and treating yourself with respect, care, and acceptance, without depending on external validation. Self-love is not equivalent to self-esteem; it is one of its components.
- Emotional Responsibility: my emotions are mine. They are not someone else’s fault nor do they make me bad for feeling them, but it is my responsibility to manage them with maturity.
- Discipline: acting consistently with your goals and values even when there’s no desire or immediate results. “I choose to stay on my path because what I am building matters more than what I feel in this moment.”
- Creativity: the willingness to explore, transform, and express who I am, without fear of making mistakes or not fitting into what’s “right.” It is my way of living authentically.
- Connection: a conscious decision to open up to others and to myself with presence, vulnerability, and without masks.
Goals#
I’ve aligned each goal with the Values that support it:
- Learn UE5: Curiosity, Discipline.
- Compose music: Creativity, Authenticity.
- Improve my self-esteem: Authenticity, Self-Love, Freedom, Emotional Responsibility, Connection.
- Learn to build non-toxic relationships: Connection, Self-Love, Emotional Responsibility.
- Travel more, including solo: Freedom, Curiosity.
- Make my personal game: Creativity, Curiosity, Authenticity.
- Build my own blog: Creativity, Curiosity, Authenticity.
Final Words#
Once we define Purpose, Values, and Goals, the next step is to ask: what keeps me from integrating these definitions within myself?
The answer lies in each of us. Many times, we already know it, but the mind unconsciously tries to deny it. Knowing what’s inside can hurt, but working on self-esteem transforms that pain into freedom and happiness, giving us a new way of seeing life: our own personal “truth.”